Sex Quest

Sex Questions and Answers

I will be answering questions that are posed to me about sex in this section from time to time.  New questions and answers will be posted.

Q.      When we make love, we both wonder why we don’t do this more often, but our frequency averages two or three times a month.  We don’t seem to have the time or energy.  Do you have any suggestions?

A.      1.       Think sex.  For a woman you may want to get a band for wrist and put TS on it.  Think Sex.  For a man you need to put a band on it and write on it Think.  Think of your wife throughout the day and let her know that you are thinking of her not just when she comes to bed.

2.      Plan an intimate weekend every 6 - 8 weeks a get away. Make it a two-night retreat so each can be served on alternate nights. There is something about the planning, the get away and the afterglow that keeps sex in motion for a while.  Often a sex life in motion stays in motion and gathers positive momentum.  Planning to overcome inertia by jump-starting sex every six to eight weeks can be a positive way of gaining perspective between daily demands and sexual enjoyment.

          3.      Be proactive not reactive.  Be intentional. List the things that are hindering a great sex life and target those things.  What is causing lack of energy (lack of exercise, schedule too busy, lack of nutrition)?  If you are borrowing energy from the relationship to give to other things such as your job remember the ‘emotional bank account’.  You cannot keep borrowing from this account and expect to have when in need.  When you borrow, pay back with interest.  Plan days of rest and relaxation.  Pour back in to self so can pour into partner.