Disappointment is an appointment we will have often in life. We recently found a beach vacation has to be cancelled this year because of another event. This is such a downer I find myself to be upset with the people that planned the event because should have remembered our annual rest bit. Closest relationships will let us down. Before I get too haughty about this I should acknowledge that I will return the favor. No matter how hard I may try I will not live up to others’ expectations either. How should we deal with disappointment:
Connect to the disappointment. Getting our disappointment out where we can deal with it is essential. Either doing it personally through perhaps journaling or talking about it with others can help. This is a great contribution of the AMen group process. We don’t have to keep our disappointments to ourselves but can share them with other men. I know I will be working through this botched vacation a little deeper with a group in the near future.
Separate from the disappointment –It is important to move beyond our disappointment. If we keep hashing over what cannot be changed it will change us and not for the better. For my disappointment I am in the process of letting it go so I can move on to something new. The old lemonade quote would work well here if it weren’t overused.
Communicate future expectations openly. From now on we will convey in no uncertain terms the sanctity of this week get away. Because the reservation can only be done in a certain week we will adamantly communicate that only a dire emergency will interrupt this in the future.
Change to a positive attitude. Gratitude can replace disappointment. We are now making plans to make this week enjoyable. Although it is far from the beach there are certain things we can do to make this time fun.
By expressing our disappointment openly, moving beyond it, communicating expectations clearly and consciously changing to a positive attitude we can get up from our let downs.